@BatmanOffDuty: *Indian sending smoke signals* Buffalo... Coming... *other Indian replies* New... Fire... Who... Dis?
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@peterjames48: "I don't have to outrun the bear! Just you!" Wrong. Bears are so sick of that joke, they skip the slow guy and eat the fast guy now.
@LosLos__: Got home late to a note that said "Wake me up for sex", which I stared at for 10 mins before realizing it was my own handwriting.