@aka_fatman: Indiana Jones: [screaming as his hand is crushed under a door] ARRGGHHH! WHY? WHY DID I REACH FOR MY HAT? I OWN SO MANY HATS!!
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@PanicRestroom: I wonder if the username "That Cab" is free, cause a lot of people would want to follow "That Cab"
@WickedCynic: Autocorrect changed "meeting" to "mating" and now my boss and I aren't meeting with Bob after work.
@sandjoeman: I love when people tell me they'll "see me in hell" as if I'm not gonna weasel my way out of those plans too.