@Extranaut: Indians will wait 25 years to have sex but not 25 seconds for the traffic signal to turn green.
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@AlexvanBeek: A spider so big you politely ask it to leave the premises & then sheepishly accept its refusal with all the dignity of a French surrender.
@Reverend_Scott: You see two puppies. "Awwwww!" But they're cannibal puppies! "Ahhhhhhh!" One puppy eats the other! "Ewwwww!" Then he takes a nap. "Awwwww!"
@david8hughes: [date] Me: you wanna see what desserts they have? Girl: how about we go home & I'll let you- Me [calls waiter]: what desserts do u have?