@SamGrittner: Inkling sounds like a baby octopus
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@murrman5: [family hears me pull in driveway] wife: please don't wrestling announcer: sorry ma'am he already paid me. NOW ENTERING THE HOUSE FROM WORK
@david8hughes: [interrogation] "Where were u on the night of the 3rd?" Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape?" Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.
@slimmy_shady: Getting a cat is SO much easier. Go outside. Put cat food out. Pet whatever comes to eat it. Best 30 raccoons I've ever had. Also rabies.
@ValeeGrrl: 6yo: ONCE I HAVE CHEST HAIR I'LL BE A MAN & THEN LADIES CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO ANYMORE Husband: *dies laughing*