@kendragaylord: Inside the heads of four JCrew models.
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@weinerdog4life: Last Halloween I had to explain to everyone that I was not a ghost with a boner, but I was just a ghost and I happened to have a boner.
@MindyFurano: Flipped over my therapist's writing pad and it was just a New York Times crossword with "shut up" written in every blank.
@AaronFullerton: Reading about how much Daniel Craig hates Bond is like The Pope Visiting Kim Davis all over again.
@SomthinBoutSara: How do you end an argument with a woman? Tell her to calm down. You're dead now but the argument is over.