@Reverend_Scott: Inspirational tweet: There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope yours is a freight train.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Jake_Vig: [engineer looking at blueprints] "Well, here's your problem right here. You built this thing on rock and roll."
@Bryainiac: I don't know why they are called smart phones, I dropped mine in the toilet and it didn't even try to get out.
@semenphantom: *opens door to show you my enormous stash of apples* "The doctors will attack soon, and I will be the only one prepared."
@NotthatAdamWest: Judging by the size of her models, I'm guessing Victoria's Secret is lots and lots of cocaine.