@Reverend_Scott: Inspirational tweet: There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope yours is a freight train.
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@EvanJKessler: If this whole twitter thing doesn't work out, we can all get jobs writing for a company that makes mildly disturbing fortune cookies.
@cajones113: Customer: I can't see. How many sugar and fiber are in this bar? Me: 7 sugar 5 fiber C: That's not very healthy... Just the smokes then.
@mobydong: Wearing a wig is probably worth the hassle for those moments when you get to dramatically pull it off your weary, tearful head.