@CharmandBrains: *Inspirational Tweets*
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@OrangeFact: SPOILER ALERT: In the book "What to Expect When You're Expecting," it's a baby. You're expecting a baby.
@clindsaysway: An obese old man who breaks into your house at night? A tiny flying woman who buys your dead teeth? It's a wonder children can sleep at all.
@bourgeoisalien: When I die, I'm donating my body to the theater department. Any jerk could donate their body to science. I can't wait to be a theater prop.
@GavsonNZ: To the account who followed me while I slept and then unfollowed me before I woke. My apologies for taking a break. It won't happen again!