@StellaRtwot: Instagram better not use my cloud pics. THEY'RE MY CLOUDS GET YOUR OWN CLOUDS ZUCKERBERG!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WilliamRodgers: "I don't get why our troops need to wear camouflage, when they could just wear glasses..." -Superman
@blondediva11: My mom keeps telling me there are plenty of fish in the sea. She REALLY doesn't get me anymore. I. Don't. Want. A. Fish.
@NotJPo: Your wife will always agree to let you go out and get drunk with your friends and as long as you're smart and don't go.
@weinerdog4life: I'm just like the ghostbusters, except I chase squirrels around my neighborhood with a vacuum cleaner