@biggarf: Instagram would have been a good name for a weed delivery service
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@Cryptic1iam: Me: I've read the Bible cover to cover Her: Yeah? Prove it. M: How? H: What is the first sentence in it? M: "Do not remove from motel"
@dinnersruined: *hands you a marijuana* "This one's called Air Bud. It'll make you play basketball. Also it might turn you into a golden retriever."
@Starlight2112: When someone slings shit at me, I like to duck and let it hit the person stabbing me in the back.