@TuffyNyC: "Instead of a 58 year old woman, I wanna look like a 28 year old shiny iguana" - Plastic Surgery
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@Amusitr0n: If someone's embarrassed just tell them an astronaut did the same thing. For example, "It's ok, Buzz Aldren once shit himself in an Arby's"
@roxiqt: If you run out of pet names for your partner, just call them assorted baking ingredients: sugar, honey, cinnamon, vanilla, garlic powder, Montreal steak seasoning, butter, pumpkin.