@ericsshadow: Instead of a DING DONG sound, I wish my doorbell would explain to the person how much I don't want to get off the couch.
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@Sickayduh: *sees commercial* "Talk to your kids about drugs before its too late" "Kiddo. Kitchen. Now" - Yeah? "This is oregano. Don't get ripped off"
@Mr_Kapowski: Fun Prank: If someone leaves their car windows cracked cause it's hot outside, start slipping unwrapped Kraft Singles in their car
@iwearaonesie: Hell hath no fury like a toddler who wanted his peanut butter and jelly sandwich cut into triangles until you cut it into triangles