@TheCatWhisprer: Instead of a flask I keep a small kitten in my jacket pocket that I pull out for a quick pet whenever I need a pick-me-up.
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@Vodkantots: If I were really famous, I wouldn't even need body guards. These maxi pads promise me 10 hours of protection, each.
@GuyConfused: The best revenge is to kidnap your enemy, tie him up, then pop bubble wrap in front of him and make him watch.
@ilovepie84: "I don't think Gay Guys should be able to get abortions" -Me when someone asks me a question that I don't know the answer to.
@Stella1070: Amy Winehouse's final album was "recorded before her death." Thanks for the clarification.