@TheCatWhisprer: Instead of a flask I keep a small kitten in my jacket pocket that I pull out for a quick pet whenever I need a pick-me-up.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Sickayduh: Reporter: Doctor, what motivates you to care for coma patients? Me: Well, I'm just here *puts cap on Sharpie* to put smiles on their faces
@ElgatoEsmio: [sketchy parking lot] stranger: hey man, can you jump my car? me: maybe if i get a running start
@BruceForce: 2010: Didn't jog 2011: Didn't jog 2012: Didn't jog 2013: Didn't jog 2014: Haven't jogged ~ This is a running joke