@TheCatWhisprer: Instead of a flask I keep a small kitten in my jacket pocket that I pull out for a quick pet whenever I need a pick-me-up.
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@SwirlySkittles: Me: These five words I swear to you, when you breathe I want- Him: Stop singing to the mustard Me: *stands up and closes fridge* Whatever.
@9to5Life: "911, what's your emergency?" "My kids are being jerks." "Hey, Christian, you can't keep calling here." "Are you gonna send help?" "..."
@crunkdumpster: "Well gentlemen... the steaks are high." *two steaks giggle* "Hehehe omfg he totally knows, man..."