@JohnLyonTweets: Instead of a happy ending the masseuse gave me an indie movie ending. She stopped suddenly at a random point and left everything unresolved.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jwoodham: Dear Diary: Day 1 of being a gang member. Wore a bandana today, but took it off after a woman shouted "you go girl!" from across the street.
@timdonakowski: Butterflies have 1,200 eyes. That means they spend 7 months taking out their contacts every night.
@MomOfTeen: Walking by the lingerie section Youngest: Why do they make the underwear so fancy? No one is ever going to see it anyway. Me: Uh huh.