@AimeeHelene1: Instead of a jar to collect change for vacation, I'm going to start one for bail money, for when it flip out on stupid people in public.
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@girlontapas: He told me I was too pretty not to smile. So I flipped him off, tackled him and shoved my middle finger up his nose. Now I'm smiling.
@topaz_kell: I'm in a constant battle between wanting a hot body and wanting a hot fudge sundae.
@DainWins: [Driving w/date in car] Date [turns radio to country] Me [reaches over date, opens passenger door] This isn't working. [Hits eject button]