@FuckabillyRex: Instead of a post-workout protein shake I have mashed potatoes and gravy and instead of working out I have mashed potatoes and gravy.
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@WildeThingy: Jamaica has declared war on drugs. Actually, they pretty much do everything on drugs.
@Henry_3k: Meanwhile at the drugstore... What do you mean I can't drink alcohol with this medication? You're not a bartender! You're just a pharmacist.
@Reverend_Scott: I just raced a Smart car. He barely beat me, but that's only cuz I stopped to tie my shoe.
@carlyken: Told my coworker I want a dragon. He said I'm crazy for wanting anything that might set all my shit on fire but he's the one that's married.