@FuckabillyRex: Instead of a post-workout protein shake I have mashed potatoes and gravy and instead of working out I have mashed potatoes and gravy.
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@katy_fit: Remember kids, don't light your own fireworks. Have the adults who have been drinking all damn day do it.
@LucTabone: #IAmHonoredBy my 12 year old telling me he needs me. He wanted a new gadget of course but the thought was there.
@DirtMcTurd: My friends call me Superman, not because I help people, its because I wear the same clothes everyday
@Book_Krazy: Son: I have to bring a giraffe to school tomorrow Hub: *types in zoo coordinates & grabs keys* Me: He means a graph Hub: I GOT THIS HONEY