@FuckabillyRex: Instead of a post-workout protein shake I have mashed potatoes and gravy and instead of working out I have mashed potatoes and gravy.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SamPsychMeds: *toddler screaming in car seat* Husband: Sounds like someone needs a nap when we get home. Me: I know. Totally. Wake me up around 4?
@truegritrumble: MORPHEUS: April fools! NEO: ? M: There's no Matrix. N: What? M: You've been drugged, son. N: WTF M: We've been harvesting your organs.
@iGreenMonk: No matter how bad your day is going, just remember that somewhere in the world someone just got a pubic hair in their coffee.