@JDBooie: Instead of a sock on your door, hang a doughnut. Not only is Doughnut Disturb hilarious, you provide a snack for your now homeless roommate.
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@shutupmikeginn: The fact that they call it the Food Pyramid and not Food Triangle implies it has at least two other sides. So maybe this much taffy is OK
@JediGigi: Mom said I should only date "a good man" and I was like HEAVENS TO BETSY I WISH I HAD KNOWN THIS PERTINENT INFORMATION BEFORE NOW.
@clemdytan: I shot my first Turkey today. Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome!
@benmathaicomedy: 'Vegetarians' don't eat meat. 'Vegans' also don't eat eggs, milk or cheese. The final step is to just stand there +pretend to be a tree.