@JDBooie: Instead of a sock on your door, hang a doughnut. Not only is Doughnut Disturb hilarious, you provide a snack for your now homeless roommate.
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@gabeserra: My 3 yr old puts himself in timeout whenever he doesn't want to do something we ask him to. Pretty sure he just beat the system.
@eyeswidebutt: [dinner table] gfs dad: so what do you do for a living me: human trafficking *he chokes* gf: he's a crossing guard dad
@ObscureGent: Stealing the candy is not the issue here. The real issue is why are you feeding your baby candy.
@illTortuga: I just made way too much pasta, so if you haven't eaten dinner yet, swing by and watch me eat way too much pasta.