@OfficeofSteve: Instead of cursing and swearing when someone cuts me off in traffic, I just yell lyrics from Spice Girl songs out the window
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Do the republicans shocked that Trump is their nominee also get surprised when they put cake batter in the oven and it becomes a cake?
@Ivsy01: I like extremes. I want a nerd, but he's gotta be an extreme nerd. Like I don't even want to understand what he's talking about.
@cwhudson: *holding banana up to my ear as if it's a phone* haha, get it?? it looks like i am making a phonecall. but i'm n-*banana rings* oh crap
@GABBYdaAngSaya: [Bookstore] Me: *hands over Tangled coloring book* Cashier: How old is your daughter? Me: [sweating nervously] Of course it is