@Gooooats: Instead of donating my body to science, I'll donate it to whoever has the best idea for a practical joke involving a dead body.
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@Go2Slp: 4: can we name the baby Yoko? Me: well Yoko is a Japanese name 4: if the baby is Japanese can we name it Yoko? Me: ... 4: ... Me: yes
@GuyThe_Guy: Tonight we're gonna party like its 1999. No seriously, Greg's been in a coma for 14 years. We'll tell him that shit tomorrow night though.
@withanewname: *installs google translate* *looks at Arabic tweets for jokes to steal* *finds half my tweets doing better than mine*
@Shower4Thought: I wonder if a murderer has ever crossed my path, contemplated murdering me, and then thought "nah".