@GloriaFallon123: Instead of going to couples therapy, married people should just join Tinder and see what a nightmare single people have to deal with
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@TheHyyyype: WIFE: what the hell happened here? ME: i broke an egg [earlier] ME [shaking egg]: tell me what u know, u piece of shit
@WheelTod: A zendetta is when you launch a blood feud against a killer who murdered your entire family, but remain pretty chill about the whole thing.
@JohnBoyStyle: Knock, knock Who's there? Wu Wu who? I wouldn't get too excited sir, I'm here to impound your car.
@BwanaChris: My ex asked me what would make her new shoes look more sexy. "Give them to your sister," was apparently a relationship breaking answer