@HomeProbably: Instead of just answering the phone when it rings, I prefer to wonder why the hell someone's calling me and glare at it until it goes away.
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@poizngrl: If you are looking for a bad girl, I have been known to shop at the art supply store on days they aren't having a sale...
@TimJohnish: I hate it when you tell someone a lie to sound interesting and then you have to keep it up for several years because you married them.
@LackOfShame: [text from friend) Her: You doing okay? Me: Yeah I guess. Why, what have you heard?
@whosnutstoo: Your heart beats faster, your knees go weak, you start to sweat. Is this love? No you're probably hypoglycemic