@KKBowls: Instead of politely knocking on the bathroom door, my kid attacks the door like a rookie DEA agent on his first raid
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@sammyrhodes: Probably a good thing I'm not a ghost cause I'd just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food.
@Amburglar_: Facebook friend: If you can't handle me at my worst, then you- SHUT UP, SHANNON. YOU'RE *ALWAYS* AT YOUR WORST.
@jonnysun: whenever i watch the tv show Friends, i imagine im the seventh friend, Dirk, who just stays home while all his friends do stuff without him