@IamEveryDayPpl: My scariest campfire story is about the time I held a flashlight under my chin to tell one and everybody started counting my whiskers...

@ObviousOstrich: If every person in the world held hands around the equator a significant portion of them would drown.

@MooseAllain: "I've built a model of Mount Everest" "Is that to scale?" "No, just to look at"

@Reverend_Scott: *calls boss* Me: I can't come to work. Boss: Why not? Me: Gotham city needs me. Boss: ...You're not Batman. Me: Oh, yes, yes, exaaaactly.

@Fred_Delicious: History Trivia: In many photographs of Hitler,a golden retriever wearing a Nazi uniform can be seen. This is notorious war criminal Herr Bud