@AnniemuMary: Instead of saying a package is Family Size, it'd be more helpful if it listed a time frame, like 3 Hours Worth of Cookies.
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@tinatbh: Interviewer: So what do you have planned for the future? Me: Lunch Interviewer: No like long term. Me: Oh...Dinner.
@MyPornKhan: When folks unfollow me shortly after they've followed me I just figure they sobered up.
@juliussharpe: I don't get why everyone talks so fast in old movies. What was the hurry? There was nothing to do back then.
@Matt_The_1st: Me: But where do you see this relationship in five years? Her: Sir! For the last time, do you want extra cheese or not?