@That_Damn_Duck: Instead of saying you lost your eyesight due to an explosion while you were making meth, just tell people that you were blinded by science.
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@KattsDogma: [Spelling Bee] Judge: Your word is 'babe' Bee: B-A-E J: Sorry. There's another 'B' Bee: WHAT! WHERE? *goes crazy* *stings Judge* *dies*
@malcolmsparks: Kids are so inquisitive. "Will robots ever take over the world?" Me: "Almost certainly." "But when? Before I die?" "A bit before, yes."
@IRLPepperMD: *parents come into my room* "We need to talk to you… We think you're an owl." *turns neck all the way around to face them* "Who- I MEAN WHY"