@Storminika: Instead of sending friends Christmas cards, is it ok If I return the ones I got and just add the words "Me too"?
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@primawesome: Too bad the dinosaurs didn't have a Bruce Willisaurus to fly into space and blow that asteroid up.
@chuuew: ME: hi handsome, is this seat taken? BUS DRIVER: yes, but you could literally sit anywhere else
@LeviathanPride: Guys at work are always like "why are your shorts so short?" Then I spin kick an inch away from their face with such precision and they know
@ch000ch: step 1. log onto instagram step 2. find wedding day hashtags, ex. "SmithWedding2014" step 3. use hashtag step 4. post pictures of yaks