@TheSharona06: Instead of smiling and nodding through a conversation, try clapping and nodding. People will stop talking to you.
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@ayyyyloser: How to handle a one night stand the next morning: 1. Put on Titanic 2. He's gone, that's it
@lecalabara: Mario: I killed all your turtle troops.Bowser: Turtle what?Mario: All the turtles that work for you.Bowser: What turtles?Mario: Uh oh...
@novicefather: I played dead in the living room to see how my 2yo would respond. He climbed on my "corpse" for 5 minutes then turned on the tv.