@TheSharona06: Instead of smiling and nodding through a conversation, try clapping and nodding. People will stop talking to you.
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@SamuelHLowe: - I'd like to make a reservation. - Name? - Matthew McConaughey. - Can you spell that for me? - No.
@ArfMeasures: WIFE: Don't tell the kids but I threw away those awful pictures they made & stuck on the fridge ME: [sprinting towards the bin] MY ART
@Book_Krazy: Me: Let's try it have a nice weekend without any fighting, ok? Hub: Agreed Me: Wait, where are you going? Hub: Fishing. See you Monday
@BasicLyes: People wonder why I move to a new place every couple years. The truth is, I'm being chased by a snail with a grenade and a vendetta.