@joeljeffrey: Instead of walking faster when someone holds a door open for me, I slow down to test their door holding resolve.
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@ch000ch: ME, HOLDING A MIC TO MY DOG'S MOUTH: who's a good boy DOG: your mom ME: please take this seriously
@iwearaonesie: [on the phone] wife: My mom tripped over the dog me: Is she ok? wife: Yeah me: Can I talk to her? wife: Sure *calls for the dog*
@Dawn_M_: If you see a baby locked in a car break the window and put another baby in there, he's probably lonely.