@iAmGolfy: Instead of "Who's your daddy?" I accidentally said "How's your daddy?" and we put our clothes back on and discussed her father's cholesterol
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@SirEviscerate: "Since you both claim to be this infant's mother, we'll cut the baby in half." OK. Sounds reasonable. "Y...uh, alright then. Let's do this."
@BindzBrain: The last 3 minutes of any podcast could all be confessions to murder and we'd never know
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I hate that feeling when your iPod earbud accidentally gets ripped out of your ear and you want to murder someone with a hammer.
@TheMichaelRock: [trying to be the cool dad] me: what is up lit fam 15yo: dad, please stop me: what are the goals of your squad