@TheAlexNevil: Instructions that say "keep at room temperature" are stupid because they never tell you which room.
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@freypalm: Parents: When you finish the chores will you please look for a job. Me: [painting the cat's claws] Still a lot to do unfortunately.
@JoshuaHvr: If you factor in "supply and demand"... she DOES NOT want the D. There is so much D trying to go around, not even the alphabet wants the D.
@bees_wingz: Just removed my bra, whipped it around my head, and tried to toss it away, but a hook got caught in my hair. Available for bachelor parties.