@TheAlexNevil: Instructions that say "keep at room temperature" are stupid because they never tell you which room.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheAlexP: [at specialist office] Service desk: witch doctor are you here to see? Me: I’m here for...did you just say witch doctor? SD: no M: you sure? SD: *shakes skeleton head maracas behind desk* no
@ItsAndyRyan: What idiot called it 'telling the future through tea-leaves' and not 'brews foresight'?
@heatherlou_: My boss said if I tried to take Friday off, I could just take the rest of the year off so that's kinda neat.
@CatherineLMK: Please continue finishing your text in the crosswalk, Mr. Pedestrian. It's not like I'm driving a giant metal instrument of death.