@TheAlexNevil: Instructions that say "keep at room temperature" are stupid because they never tell you which room.
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@_NTFG_: Asked a vegetarian if she'd heard this song, then remembered vegos are too weak to turn on radios and way too busy playing with their lutes.
@QwertyJones3: "This shirt that the team was wearing smells disgusting. I need to find an appropriate state to name it after." -Inventor of the jersey