@OGJefe: Intelligence is the new cleavage
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@thegreatnanak: *lying in bed This is life. I don't think I'll ever get out of bed again. *five minutes later I gotta pee.
@ambamthankyamam: I saved my husband's life insurance company 1 million dollars by switching to xanax.
@gurl_sour: My autocorrect changes c**ts to China. Hey don't blame me. I'm not the racist code programmer.