@OGJefe: Intelligence is the new cleavage
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@TheTweetOfGod: The entire history of the universe could be seen as a slow growth, expansion and coalescence of consciousness, were it not for Sarah Palin.
@Sourcoast: Turkey bacon is a lot like normal bacon except that IT'S NOT AND IT NEEDS TO GO BACK TO HELL, WHERE IT CAME FROM.
@GrantTanaka: boss: [asks me to do something] me: [wonders how beyonce would do it] boss: STOP WONDERING ABOUT HOW BEYONCE WOULD DO IT
@CodyJP9412: COP: Do u know why I pulled u over? ME: *looks at the penguin in my passenger seat* God damnit Ralph I told u to put ur seatbelt on.