@MattElGato: *intercom comes on* "Would the owner of a white Jetta with headlight eyelashes please report to the front desk so u can be shot in the face"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sexypitabread: I accidentally said "pastryarchy" instead of "patriarchy" and now I have a vision for a better world
@bromanconsul: GIRL NEARBY: I'm breaking up with you, Kevin. You don't talk about Pokemon enough. [I sit up straight and frantically try smoothing my hair]