@JohnLyonTweets: Interesting how Lassie always happens to be at the scene when a kid "falls" down a well.
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@lucidchemistry: Go to an open house and ask the realtor if they'll stand in the basement with the door closed so you can hear if screams are audible outside
@Reverend_Scott: Carl: Cold out night. Me: Tell me something I don't know. Carl: NASA found LSD improved spiders' ability to make webs. Me: Fair enough.
@AimeeHelene1: Them: Ma'am, we're going to have to ask you leave... Me: *doing the limbo under the police tape at a crime scene*