@ilovepie84: Interesting that the homeless population is down and now there is a big sale of unlabeled meat at the grocery store.
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@stephenjmolloy: "Installing this app on a smartphone or tablet will mean everyone in the house can easily adjust the thermostat." Dads in unison: "Nooooo!"
@Phook75: No matter how much you loved them if a family member or pet comes back from the dead don't dilly dally kill them immediately
@Cheeseboy22: Picking up this tiny piece of paper would take 1 second, but instead I am going to run over 100 times with the vacuum at different angles.
@Smug_Lemur: *at interview* Him: What would you say are your strengths? Me: Words Him: Can you say more? Me: More Him: Me: I'm also good at directions