@michaelianblack: Internet, just because I bought shoes from you once doesn't mean I'm going to do it again. You're coming across as desperate.
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@aka_fatman: Sure, your carpenter could turn water into wine, Father. Now let ME tell you about a plumber who can increase his size by eating mushrooms.
@VerifiedDrunk: I set my alarm clock 15 minutes fast because I enjoy doing math problems first thing in the morning,
@mattytalks: Rather than trying to "change" your passwords, accept them for their imperfections and they will grow stronger than you can possibly imagine
@Dutch_50: Newspapers are cool because you can cut out eye holes and spy on people. Try that with an iPad.