@michaelianblack: Internet, just because I bought shoes from you once doesn't mean I'm going to do it again. You're coming across as desperate.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@awkwardphilippe: [home depot] employee[yelling]: YOU CAN'T DO THAT IN HERE me: [yelling over the sound of revving chainsaw]: WHAT
@0point5twins: If you see a girl crying, a nice thing to do is show your compassionate side and ask if it's because of her haircut.
@happily_dad: Dear neighbors, I am not killing my child. I'm washing her hair. Only she sees it the other way.
@rickygervais: Thinking that you're on speaking terms with God is like finding out you've been playing both parts in an episode of "Catfish"