@briangaar: [interrupts brain surgeon] yes, but I read on Web MD that
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@Death_Buddy: Three ways to tell if you're dating an Octopus: 1. They give awesome hugs 2. They have no skeleton 3. Every date is at the aquarium
@heyevergreen: My boss threw a Snickers at me and I caught it one handed so I think I'd be a good athlete if sports were played with candy bars
@kentgrossarth: Accidentally dialed 911 so I set my neighbor's house on fire so I wouldn't look stupid.