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@briangaar: [interrupts history professor] THAT HAPPENED ON MY BIRTHDAY
@Pirate_nurse: I wanna be the reason you're comfortable with your prostate examination
@meganamram: I don't remember anything about being born, I must have been WASTED
@crunchenhancer: I judge the strength of the economy based on what type of candy people hand out on Halloween.
@RoosterMustache: "Where'd my boomerang go?"
Hahaha I just made you say "underwear"
*boomerang hits me in the back of the head*
@usermcuserface: I'm not a violent person, but I'd happily throat punch the person that decided baby clothes needed a minimum of 20 buttons.