@briangaar: [interrupts history professor] THAT HAPPENED ON MY BIRTHDAY
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@sofarrsogud: ME: Yeah, I've heard that movie. FRIEND: You mean 'seen' that movie. ME: Ha ha. No! I'm on twitter. I haven't seen a movie in 3 years.
@Home_Halfway: I love this time of year, where my massive spider webs and the dead guy in my living room are "Halloween decorations" again.