@walks_on_legs: Interview tip: maintain eye contact. If they try to look at documents, put your head between them and the documents.
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@Reverend_Scott: If I really wanted to end my life I'd probably do it by wearing a Star Trek uniform to the Star Wars Force Awakens premier.
@Twtercide: Instead of catching your child every time they fall, teach them how to effectively execute a tuck and roll. You're welcome.
@fillthevacuum: *died in your arms tonight* *stuffed in your trunk tomorrow* *buried in the woods the day after that*