@JoePetroske: Interview Tip: When you get the "where do you see yourself in 5 years" question, don't say "post-apocalyptic tribal warlord".
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@gossipgriII: using microsoft word *moves an image 1 mm to the left* all text and images shift. 4 new pages appear. in the distance, sirens.
@CakeThrottle: [Interview with a time traveller] "What's life like in the year 3000?" It's pretty much the same as 2015 but you can download a towel
@Home_Halfway: Hi, 911? I see someone from high school in this coffee shop and they're the type to corner & chat me up and I don't know what to do HI LAURA
@kwirkyKerri: Most women have a love hate relationship with their scale, but I'm convinced mine goes out of her way to piss me off.