@TheBoydP: Interviewer: Any questions?
Me: Why don’t they put a scratch and sniff box on recipes?
@BromanConsul: What idiot called it the Police/Fire Department Headquarters and not GUNS 'N HOSES?
@Contwixt: In truth, spiders are harmless*
*Save for a few species whose venom reprograms your immune system to tell your body to eat its own organs.
@JillBidenVeep: Barack: Sign here, and here
Joe: And then the adoption is final & you and Michelle are my parents?
Barack: No, Joe
@rivetingbonmots: There is no "I" in the word "team," but I don't think that means anything about team work. That's just how it's spelled.
@lisaxy424: Always answer a math question in a silly voice because if you're wrong they'll think you're joking and if you're right they'll feel dumb.