@HaramiParindey: Interviewer : What are your expectations?
Me : Job.
Interviewer : I mean what do you want from this job?
Me : Salary
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@JennyPentland: My house looks like I'm losing a game of Jumanji.
@ericsshadow: WOMAN: some people shouldn't have children ME: [placing my screaming son in her shopping cart] thank you
@Mikecanrant: Legally, if a woman is wearing hoop earrings that are as big as the side of her face, you are allowed to hurl a basketball at her head.
@Lakeoconeebldr: This 5 year old is taking a call from his secret agent on a calculator and now I hate my phone.
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