@Home_Halfway: INTERVIEWER:How good are your public speaking skills?
ME:*from behind a tall plant in the office, I throw a piece of paper saying 'Decent'*
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@ArfMeasures: BOSS: What's going on here? ME: Dave's mad because he specifically labelled his sandwich in the fridge and I accidentally- DAVE: Not accidentally, on purpose!! ME: ugh ok FINE. And I, "on purpose", slept with his wife
@Peteypops13: My doctor said NO drinking for 2 weeks,then we both laughed.
@kwirkyKerri: *smacks you with my coloring book* Wow. These coloring books really do work to relieve stress.
@Aspersioncast: Your secrets are safe with me, I wasn't even listening to you.
@LifeUnPinterest: *Texting* HIM: Do you have any snacks? ME: In my panty. H: Lol, you misspelled "pantry." M: Nope.
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