@AmishPornStar1: Introverts are just extroverts who have realized that most people suck.
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@Humor_Fetish: Airplanes: offering you the comforts of gas station food/drinks at popular night club prices
@BoomBoomBetty: [at bedtime] 5 yo: Leave the door open. Me: Will that keep you awake? 5 yo: It needs to be open so the shadow people can leave. Me: [never sleeps again]
@thetigersez: The best part about getting older is now when my friends make me mad I just give their kids a gift that contains glitter.