@jonnysun: INVENTOR OF SOUP: [holding water in one hand and sandwich in the other] wat if… wat if water was mor like sandwich
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@DanMentos: “Ever wonder why Rice Krispies costs the same as quieter cereals?” why would- “It’s because they're sold by weight-“ Dan, NO “not by volume"
@Dutch_50: Instructions in the Men's Room for hand washing. Because non-hand washers can't be bothered unless there's an opportunity to learn stuff.
@Reverend_Scott: [kisses daughter goodnight] Sleep tight. "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Um, the Stork. [stork knocks on bedroom window] He's lying.