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@david8hughes: [inventor of the piano]
Tables aren't noisy enough.
@Brampersandon_: How did the date go?
Aww what went wrong?
-*thinks back to accidentally popping a zit into her soup* She just wasn't my type.
@KeetPotato: genie: "thats definitely your last wish?"
me: [smiles at my wife in wheelchair] "yes"
our dog: "how can i talk all of a sudden?"
@Notoliviasteel: "THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!"
2012: omg please no
2016: are we doing this or not
@Julian_Deane: Not saying I'm special but kids these days never have any money behind their ears.
@JimmerThatisAll: Nope. Not gonna follow anyone whose name is upside down. I got enough problems.