@JessObsess: *Invents silent snack packages. *Becomes president of the United States.
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@LurkAtHomeMom: Me: *checking into maternity ward* Hey, so remember that time when you took the baby so I could sleep? Nurse: Ma'am, this child is seven.
@causticbob: A survey shows that 20% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house and 80% kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife..
@Tmoney68: Top advice for résumés: Be VERY careful with placement of dashes. Ex. - First-hand job experience = good. First hand-job experience = bad.