@DiamondGirl127: "Iowa man arrested after fight over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches" - I'm just gonna assume this is 1 of you guys
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@sammyrhodes: Letting Russia host the Winter Olympics feels a little bit like letting Voldemort host the Quidditch Cup.
@skullpuppy11: Just like Hitler with the tiny mustache, Kim Jong-Un is ruining that haircut for everyone else.
@shkeeber: There's no easy way to tell someone you lost their kid in a high stakes game of duck duck goose.
@clindsaysway: When no one stars a tweet, I tell myself it was probably appreciated by hundreds of shy people.