@kyle_thatisall: IRONMAN 3 SPOILER ALERT: Tony's all "pffsh whatever I'm Ironman" then he's all "JARVIS HELP" then he's sad but then it's like whaaaaat.
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@iMikosnyc: Tonite on House Hunters: Jill wants 4 bedrooms, granite countertops and a home spa. Bob wants to be stabbed in the driveway.
@briancthayer: [rap battle] Opponent: *crushes it* Me: Oh, I... umm. I thought this was something else... *hastily hides plastic wrap behind back*
@lecalabara: Why does a billionaire need a Bat signal? He is in a cave. How does he even see the signal? Why won't you just text him?