@JohnFugelsang: Irony is how Jesus is too Liberal for most of his own Fan Clubs
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@OtherDanOBrien: Why is lumberjack the only job with some random guy's name attached? Why aren't plumbers called, like, toiletdougs? Or crapperjoels?
@Bipartisanism: "Joe Biden and I are so close, some places in Indiana refuse to serve us pizza." - President Obama
@weinerdog4life: The cops say I have to stop trying to fist fight the guy who tries to feed my house letters everyday.
@SardonicTart: Christian Bale has done ok for himself considering he's named after a religious bundle of hay.