@JohnFugelsang: Irony is how Jesus is too Liberal for most of his own Fan Clubs
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@_SingleBabyMama: A watched pot never boils. The same is also true if you forget to turn the burner on apparently.
@OreoSpeedwagon_: Note to self: hairspray does not kill spiders; it merely increases their strength and makes them look flawless all day.
@Schmoodles: I call my bedroom 'The place where the magic happens' because one night a guy locked me in a box and tried to saw me in half.