@TinyNietzsche: Irony walks into a bar the same time as a Coincidence. The bartender asks what they want? "Not to be confused with each other."
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@CountGripsnatch: Me: I should stop drinking Me: Why? Me: I dunno Me: You're awesome when you drink Me: Really? Me: Yeah Me: Thanks, me. You're alright
@NurseMurderer: Backstreet Boys: Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely. Me: *slow dances with cats around a pot of mac & cheese*
@GlazerBooHooHoo: To trick people into thinking I understand things at a museum I stand in front of every painting and silently count to twenty.