@TinyNietzsche: Irony walks into a bar the same time as a Coincidence. The bartender asks what they want? "Not to be confused with each other."
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@girl_a_whirl: Batman: Life isn't a video game. Your actions have consequences *Robin writes 'I'm sorry I forgot to buy Charmin®' 100 times on Batpaper*
@ColdPetRat: launch my dead body into space but not too far away. if my calculations are correct, i will win the public pool splash contest in 2076
@weismanjake: When someone tells me to have a safe flight it's like ok I will do my best but just so you know I am not the pilot of the airplane
@sofarrsogud: 4 AM BLADDER: Get up. You need to go STOMACH: And you're hungry BRAIN: Imagine if Hammer Time was a real time zone. We'd have to move there