@rzarosco: Is 6 celebrity impersonations too small a number for me to do on this first date? I feel like its a little low...
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@PRESTONinCOLOR: Texts from mom: Thanks to the supreme court, now it's not just women who won't marry you.
@BillDixonish: If Billy Joel rewrote We Didn't Start The Fire based on the past 2 weeks, it would be 45 minutes long.
@shutupmikeginn: So much wasted time in public school, as an adult I've never used cursive, done algebra, or had to remember anything from sex ed.
@GBRougecity: "What a nice doggie." "I'll have you know it's not a doggie but a pure bred." "YOU HAVE A DOG MADE OUT OF BREAD??!!!!"