@DiamondLou69: Is a person diagnosed with a Multiple Personality Disorder able to get a group rate from their therapist? Just asking for some friends.
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@ArfMeasures: [Prison] ME: Just don't mention anything about breaking free & they won't suspect a thing *guard enters* FREDDIE MERCURY *clears throat*
@Brianhopecomedy: I checked my phone while I was mowing the lawn and now we don't have a garden.
@EJGomez: [interrupts pastor] but jesus was crucified today shouldn't we call today "Bad Friday" or even "Kinda Messed Up They Killed Jesus Friday"
@buckweiser13: I've been driving with a coca cola can stuck in snow on the roof of my car for a week cuz 7 thinks it makes us cops. Stare all you want.